Practicing Social Skills with Children

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Practicing Social Skills with Children

October 31, 2023 | Joy Thibeault, LCSW-C | 7 min. read

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Hello! My name is Joy Thibeault and I am a Psychotherapist with over 18 years of clinical experience working with children.

At Orchard Mental Health Group, I see clients across the lifespan with special interest around treating neurodivergent clients, as well as those with symptoms of anxiety.

Social skills are very important for a child’s development.

Strong social skills assist a child in developing strong language skills, creativity, social intelligence, and confidence, but social skills are tough!

Children are learning how to initiate and sustain conversation, read and respond appropriately to body language, and take the perspective of others. Many parents can be confused as to how to practice social skills with their children, whether just for practice, or because they have noticed their child struggling. 

Below are five simple ways to practice social skills with your child as an integrated part of family life.

  1. Paper Chain. Introduce this activity as a collaborative competition (“Let’s see how long we can make our paper chain”) and explain that you will be adding a link to the chain for every comment or question either of you say that keeps conversation going on one topic. This activity will assist your child in practicing follow up questions, making connections to the experiences of others, and sustaining conversational exchanges.
  2. What Are They Thinking? This activity could be done on the go with real life scenarios, or at home using pictures or a paused video. Observe a photo, paused video, or real scene happening in front of you (e.g., someone in a grocery store parking lot) and ask your child “What do you think that person is thinking right now and why?” This activity will assist in developing perspective taking, reading body language, and cognitive flexibility.
  3. Apples to Apples / Whoonu. Playing certain games available on the market can also be a great way to provide practice for your child. Both Apples to Apples as well as Cranium’s Whoonu assist children in practicing taking the perspectives of others by asking participants to guess what another player might like best based on what the player knows about them.
  4. A Friend Journal. If your child has difficulty initiating conversation, knowing what to talk about to keep conversation going, or has trouble with greetings, creating a “Friend Journal” might be helpful. The child can make a page for each friend or person they might want to interact with which should include information like: how that person likes to be greeted, things that person is interested in, things that person does not like, and any other information important to conversation. Eventually, your child should mentally sneak a peek at the file they have on this person in their friend journal and use it for clues to how they could engage that friend.
  5. What’s the Story? Sitting in the car somewhere? People watching on a bench? Use that time to practice perspective taking and reading body language! Pick out a person, couple, or small group and try to guess what their story could be. You can ask your child questions like: How do you think they know each other and why? How do you think they feel about each other?

When using these activities with children to practice social skills, remember to remain positive and upbeat and to make these activities fun!

If your child offers what seem to be faulty conclusions from what they are observing, or misinterprets a situation, offer your interpretation of the situation including the specifics of what you observed that gave you that answer (e.g., “I noticed that the person has their arms crossed and their eyebrows pulled together, so it made me think they are probably mad.”) Have fun and remember, practice makes progress!

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Living With an Invisible Illness

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Living With an Invisible Illness

October 31, 2023 | Katie Lawliss, Psy.D. | 10 min. read

October is Invisible Illness Awareness Month. In honor of this, let’s dive into what invisible illness means and work to understand how it impacts one’s lived experience.

Living with an Invisible Illness OMHG Blog

Disabilities and illnesses can be visible or invisible. Or sometimes a combination of the two.

It can be ever changing depending on how the person is feeling or progressing in their illness. Both invisible and visible disabilities have struggles associated with it. Invisible illness is exactly what it sounds like, it is a medical condition that is not visible to others.

Examples of invisible illnesses include psychiatric disorders, diabetes, heart conditions, and chronic migraine.

Whereas, visible illnesses have aspects of the condition that other people can see and, therefore, understand that there is a medical condition present. Examples include, someone with hair loss related to chemotherapy treatment for cancer, the use of a mobility device for someone with chronic pain, or particular facial features associated with down syndrome. This blog is focused on the intricacies of invisible illnesses, however both versions of disability and illness have valid struggles.

Whether you have a disability or not you may have either thought or heard some of these sentiments before:

A 40-something year old gets out of their car, that is parked in a handicap spot and does not use a mobility aid: “That person does not need the handicap parking space, they are not even disabled”

This person has cystic fibrosis and struggles to breath when walking the distance though the parking lot.

A 30-something year old has to cancel plans due to chronic pain and dizziness related to their condition: “He could walk yesterday, but now he can’t? He just doesn’t want to hang out with us, he always cancels.”

This person has chronic fatigue syndrome and is experiencing a crash after pushing himself through the work week.

A 20 year old woman goes to the doctor complaining of increased fatigue, joint pain, and sudden weight gain: “You look fine and are too young to be sick. Just get more exercise and watch your diet.”

This person has ovarian cancer but will not find out for over a year due to being “too young” for ovarian cancer.

A 15 year old girl is not keeping up with chores and homework: “She is just lazy and does not want to put the effort in.”

This girl has ADHD and wants to do her chores and school work but her executive functioning challenges make it so that she can’t keep up with the demands of home and school. 

All of these statements are rooted in ableism and the lack of knowledge about invisible illnesses. Unfortunately, it is not an uncommon experience in the invisible disability space.

Having an invisible illness is hard. One of the reasons it can be hard is because people may not believe that you are sick and have a lack of empathy for your difficulties because they cannot see the difficulties nor experience them.

It can also be exhausting to educate others and advocate for yourself so people will believe you. However, it is necessary to do so in order to have your needs met and take care of yourself. People with visible disabilities also need to advocate for themselves due to ableism in society. The difference for those with invisible disabilities is you also need to “prove” you are sick. And once you do, people may frequently forget because your illness is out of sight and out of mind to them. Although, living with the illness you do not get the luxury of your illness being out of sight and out of mind as you live with it daily.

While having an invisible disability is burdensome, due to living in an ableist society, the ability to be able to “hide” your illness can be helpful when facing prejudice and discrimination. The problem is that people with invisible disabilities are often taught to lean into this and hide their disability, which tends to cause more issues than benefits. It is important to know that having an invisible disability is valid and it is not their job to hide their disability from others in order to make them comfortable. Having a disability is not something to be ashamed of; however, being taught to hide the illness (because it is invisible) can lead to feelings of shame or lead to minimizing their needs and experiences.

Invisible illness means it is not readily visible to others. However, it does not mean that it is not valid and not visible to the person living with it every single day.

Support may not be directed towards them because people can not see the need for support. This does not mean that they don’t need support. People may make accusations that they are  faking the illness or not understand the variability of symptoms day to day.

It is important that if you experience an invisible illness that you can remind yourself that your disability is real and valid. Coping with the struggles that come with invisible disabilities mainly includes believing in yourself and your own experiences. If you are able to validate your experiences you can better advocate for yourself, notice ableism around you, and take care of yourself both mentally and physically. The more you are able to communicate about your experiences, even if others’ cannot see it, the more likely you are to gain understanding from your loved ones and get support when you need it.

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Therapy and Medication Combination

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Therapy and Medication Combination

October 12, 2023 | Katie Lawliss, Psy.D. | 5 min. read

Medication and therapy both help people relieve and manage psychological wellbeing.

There are many reasons why a person may choose to only use medication or only participate in therapy. As clinicians, we always hope to foster a sense of autonomy for clients in choosing the best course of treatment for them. However, researchers have demonstrated that the combination of medication and therapy work best together, which is why your therapist may suggest meeting with a psychiatrist, or a psychiatrist may recommend beginning therapy. 

When I work with clients and decide to recommend medication for their mental health symptoms  to supplement our work together in therapy, I frame it as this:

Medication can help reduce symptoms enough that you are better able to engage in the coping skills you learn in therapy.

The idea is that once you can better access the ability to engage in coping skills consistently, the coping mechanisms will be a learned behavior that you will be able to use more effectively going forward. 

Therapy and Medication Combination OMHG Blog

At this point, if a client does not wish to continue to be on medication, they can work with their prescriber to try to taper off medication. The idea being that the coping skills are more ingrained at that point, so the client will likely be better able to manage their symptoms without medication.

However, some clients benefit from long term use of psychiatric medication and for some disorders, long term use of medication is highly recommended.

Psychological disorders have biological bases. A person’s brain is an organ and our psychological wellbeing is largely dependent on neurotransmitters. People with depression, anxiety, OCD, Bipolar I or II, ADHD, schizophrenia and more, have neurotransmitters that are not working to the degree that they are intended to work. Medication allows balance of neurotransmitters. Some medications work to slow down the reuptake of neurotransmitters so that they have the time to do their job effectively. While some medications work to increase the activity of a neurotransmitter at the appropriate receptor or block the receptor so the appropriate amount of a neurotransmitter is accessed.

Whether you are in therapy, taking medication, or both, know that you are engaging in committed actions towards taking care of your wellbeing.

The combination of medication and psychotherapy can be the most beneficial for many clients, so talk to your providers about this if you are interested in how both methods of treatment may suit you. If you are interested in therapy, medication, or both, feel free to reach out to us at OMHG. We have a team of medication management providers and therapists ready to help!

References:

Cuijpers, P., Noma, H., Karyotaki, E., Vinkers, C. H., Cipriani, A., & Furukawa, T. A. (2020). A network meta‐analysis of the effects of psychotherapies, pharmacotherapies and their combination in the treatment of adult depression. World Psychiatry, 19(1), 92—107. 

Kamenov, K., Twomey, C., Cabello, M., Prina, A. M., & Ayuso-Mateos, J. L. (2016). The efficacy of psychotherapy, pharmacotherapy and their combination on functioning and quality of life in depression: A meta-analysis. Psychological Medicine, 47(3), 414—425. 

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Understanding Loneliness

Home » Blog » Understanding Loneliness

Understanding Loneliness

October 12, 2023 | Jessie Nolasco-Sandino, LMSW | 7 min. read

Hello! My name is Jessie Nolasco-Sandino and I am a Licensed Master’s Social Worker (LMSW) at Orchard Mental Health Group.

I specialize in working with a diverse group of people such as children, adolescents, young adults and middle-aged adults utilizing a variety of tools and techniques. My therapy style is hands-on using a person-centered and strength-based approach from a trauma-informed care lens. 

I look forward to sharing insights and knowledge about different psychological and social topics that can help us grow and understand the human experience.

We all have somewhat of an understanding and comprehension of loneliness from what we see in social media, news outlets, personal experience and what we hear from our peers and family members.

Oftentimes loneliness is seen as an emotional response to a stressful event or chemical imbalance in the brain, which can lead to Depression. Many individuals tend to socially isolate when depressed and/or facing life challenges. Others struggle to build community or reach out to others for social and emotional support.

Loneliness, as described and explained, by Dr. Jeremy Nobel (2023) is defined as the uncomfortable feeling of a perceived gap between the connections we want with others and the connections we feel we have.

He categorizes loneliness into: psychological loneliness, societal loneliness and existential loneliness.

Psychological loneliness is understood as a longing for an authentic connection with another human being, to relay your troubles, trust and be vulnerable with, and open up emotionally to another person.

It’s seen as an uncomfortable, psychological internal conflict that may produce negative emotions of sadness, regret, shame, self-doubt, confusion and embarrassment. Furthermore, individuals struggling with psychological loneliness may be afraid to be vulnerable and develop or create intimate, deep social and emotional connections with others. This type of loneliness is possibly due to unstable, insecure or avoidant attachments to others or due to unresolved trust and abandonment concerns that left them mistrustful of others.

Societal loneliness is defined more as the overwhelming sense of not fitting in or belonging, of being systematically excluded, from the societal, group or community narrative.

It’s the experience of being uninvited or rejected by either a peer group, work colleagues, neighbors, or society at large due to race, religion, gender, disabilities, socioeconomic status, nationality, implicit biases and other societal stigmas and/or conformities that exclude and “other” people.

Lastly, we have existential or spiritual loneliness, and this is characterized as lacking connection with the Self and others.

As if something is missing in life despite all the wealth, accomplishments, friends and resources available to a person. It arises from the mysteries and unknowns of life, when there’s no purpose or meaning to life and when navigating existential dilemmas. Some questions we may ask ourselves:  Do we have a mission and purpose that connects us to the universal? Do we matter? Do our lives have consequence? Where do I fit in?

Understanding Loneliness OMHG Blog

So how do we alleviate our loneliness?

Dr. Nobel recommends we first minimize the gap in our perceptions between the way we want things to be and the way we experience them to be. We do this by differentiating between the three types of loneliness and identifying which loneliness afflicts us in order to gain clarity to explore the feelings, thoughts and ways to best respond to the loneliness.

We can seek out therapy to begin the inner work of self-healing and repairing the relationship with ourselves.

We can reach out and lean into our social support groups, friendships, networks, and community for emotional support during bouts of loneliness. We can tolerate the discomfort of asking ourselves the tough questions of what is our core and the fears we avoid. We can listen and see ourselves for who we really are and practice self-acceptance as we venture out onto the journey of self-discovery.

Loneliness is a human response many individuals experience and is a socially isolating, limiting issue detrimental to our mental health. But through therapy and self-exploration we can build community, create social connections, explore our spirituality and values, find peaceful outlets, repair intimate relationships and heal ourselves, which can help reduce the different types of loneliness and increase understanding of how to improve loneliness as part of the human condition.

Reference

Nobel, Jeremy. (2023). Project Unlonely: Healing our Crisis of Disconnection. Penguin Random House. www.artandhealing.org

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Understanding Postpartum Diagnoses

Home » Blog » Understanding Postpartum Diagnoses

Understanding Postpartum Diagnoses

October 12, 2023 | Katie Lawliss, Psy.D. | 12 min. read

Understanding Postpartum Diagnoses OMHG Blog

Becoming a parent can be an amazing experience for many. Like most amazing things, it is not without difficulties as well. In fact, the period after labor and delivery of a baby is a huge emotional and physical shift for parents.

While perinatal mental health issues can start during pregnancy, postpartum is an especially sensitive time for emotional wellbeing.

Here are a few diagnoses and terms you may hear about the postnatal period.

Diagnosis #1: The Baby Blues

The Baby Blues refers to the period of time between birth and approximately two weeks after birth. While this is not an official diagnosis, it’s important to mention because it describes a distinct difference in functioning. Onset may occur right after birth, or a few days after birth, peaking around day 5 of postpartum. During the first few days after delivery of a baby, there is a huge drop in hormone levels that your brain and body are working to cope with.

Oftentimes, this big shift in hormones leads to feelings of sadness and tearfulness, feeling restless or anxious, and not feeling like yourself. Additionally, people who are in the postpartum period worry that they’re not being a good parent or that their sadness is going to be indicative of how their parenting journey continues.

The key distinguisher between Baby Blues and Postpartum Depression is the timeline. The Baby Blues period ends around the two week mark postpartum.

Diagnosis #2. Postpartum Depression

Postpartum Depression (PPD), also called postnatal depression, occurs after the two-week period Baby Blues. PPD is an acute form of Major Depressive Disorder. However, some people who have given birth, may already have been given a diagnosis of Major Depressive Disorder before or during pregnancy, but can experience an increase in severity and frequency of their depressive symptoms during this time. The onset of PPD occurs within the first 4-6 weeks of the postpartum period and typically lasts an average of 6 months but can last for as long as 12 months.

The symptoms of a depressive episode include:

    • Depressed mood for most of the day, nearly everyday, diminished interest or pleasure in doing this
    • Significant changes in weight (can be hard to assess for during postpartum due to hormonal changes
    • Breastfeeding or pumping, and body changes due to having a baby) or appetite
    • Significant changes in sleep patterns (however this can be difficult to assess for during postpartum due to the changes in sleep patterns needed for caring for an infant)
    • Changes in pace of movement whether moving slower talking slower than usual or being restless and agitated or fatigued (can be difficult to assess during postpartum due to fatigue being a natural reaction to sleep deprivation)
    • Feelings of worthlessness or excessive guilt
    • Difficulty concentrating (again, sometimes hard to assess due to sleep deprivation)
    • Recurrent thoughts of death or suicidal ideation

As stated above, sometimes it can be hard to differentiate between symptoms of depression and natural reactions to a huge shift in lifestyle in the postpartum period.

However, PPD can also look a bit different than a typical depressive episode. Understandably, many new parents experience a big increase in anxiety. PPD and postpartum anxiety are often used interchangeably, even though outside of the postpartum period, Major Depressive Disorder and Generalized Anxiety Disorder are not used interchangeably.

Generally, there are normative ranges for anxiety in the postpartum period. Anxiety is an emotion that we need as humans in order to stay safe and get things done. However, when anxiety is more intense and frequent than is useful, that is when we consider it part of a disorder.

Yes, it’s normal to worry about how a newborn baby is doing—to an extent.

But if you find yourself…

  • Feeling on edge constantly
  • Needing to check the baby’s vitals nonstop, even though they are medically sound
  • Googling for hours a night about what is normal (again, to the point of functional impact like not sleeping in the few hours you are able to, or not being able to focus on your time spent with your baby at all because you are so worried about a perceived abnormality)

…then you may be experiencing postpartum depression/anxiety.

People who live in urban areas, with low incomes, and people with other mental health diagnoses are at higher risk for PPD. Additionally, people who have a perceived or actual lack of social support, stressful life events occurring, relationship issues, difficult pregnancy and labor and delivery, childcare stress during the postnatal period are at higher risk for PPD.

A parent who did not give birth to a child can also experience PPD. While these parents do not have a hormonal shift, PPD can still occur and should be treated and not dismissed.

The use of this diagnosis is not to invalidate the real difficulties that occur during the postpartum period. It’s natural to have some mood changes during a huge life altering shift and it is natural to worry about your newborn and your relationship with your newborn during this time period. However, it is important to recognize when sadness and anxiety move beyond the norm and into the PPD range because taking care of your emotional wellbeing will help you take care of your child and help you feel like yourself, which benefits you and your baby.

Fortunately, there are many treatments, both pharmacological and nonpharmacological for PPD and seeking out help is the best choice you can make. Having PPD is not a failing on the parent’s part, but rather, it is a combination of hormonal changes, environmental factors, genetic predisposition and more.

Diagnosis #3: Postpartum Obsessive Compulsive Disorder

Postpartum OCD (pOCD) is similar to typical OCD but begins in the postpartum period. Postpartum OCD can be particularly distressing due to the nature of intrusive thoughts associated with OCD. There are different subtypes of intrusive thoughts including harm OCD, sexual orientation OCD, Pedophilia OCD, Relationship OCD, Just Right OCD, Religous OCD and more. Any subtype can occur during pOCD. It is important to note that there are often obsessive thoughts, such as feeling your child is always in danger, and compulsions, such as seeking reassurance that you are a good parent or avoiding being alone with your child, during the postnatal period.

Other subtypes of OCD can happen as well during the postnatal period including Pedophilia OCD and Harm OCD. It is important to remember that these subtypes of OCD do not indicate that you will harm your child or other children. Postpartum OCD is not associated with committing violence. It can be scary to discuss these thoughts with your trusted people or a clinician but the first step to getting help is letting someone know what is going on. You may worry that people will think you are a danger or unfit to parent, but having pOCD does not make you an unfit parent or that you are going to harm your child. It can cause functional impairments and change your parenting behaviors, so if you are scared to be alone with your child or do not trust yourself, it is important to seek out professional help which includes therapy and possible pharmacological treatment.

4. Postpartum Psychosis

Postpartum Psychosis is very rare (affecting .01% of parents who gave birth), however it can happen. Postpartum Psychosis can be confused with pOCD because there may be similar thoughts about harm to the child. However, the major difference is that Postpartum Psychosis includes hallucinations and delusions, which means that the person experiencing Postpartum Psychosis is unable to tell reality from not. Postpartum psychosis is often associated with already existing Bipolar I disorder or mood episodes featuring psychotic features. Hallucinations and delusions mean there is a break from reality because the parent is seeing or hearing things that are not really there or having strong beliefs that are not based in reality. Examples include: “The baby is possessed by the devil and I must kill him to save his soul;” or seeing the child turn into the devil. Not all hallucinations or delusions are destructive. They could be completely unrelated to harming the child or themselves. There is a risk to both the child and parent in this situation so immediate intervention with professional help is necessary. It is important to note that the vast majority of people experiencing postpartum psychosis will not hurt themselves or the child.

It can be scary to see your loved one experiencing these symptoms and it is important to seek professional help immediately. Postpartum psychosis is temporary and will get better with professional treatment.

5. Post-traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD)

PTSD can occur from labor and delivery. There are many things that could go wrong during labor and delivery which qualify as traumatic events. At least 1 in 3 women report the presence of at least three acute trauma symptoms after delivery (book). This trauma could be injury or harm to the birthing parent, the child, perceived danger to the birthing parent or child, mistreatment or abuse from medical providers, and more. Additionally, it can be traumatic to have your child admitted to the NICU for treatment post birth. PTSD from labor and delivery is associated with re-experiencing symptoms and avoiding situations that can impact the person’s ability to care for the child and themselves. Please see my previous blog post to learn more about trauma and PTSD at https://orchardmentalhealth.com/expanding-what-we-think-of-as-trauma/.

6. Dysphoric Milk Ejection Reflex (D-MER)

D-MER is a strong feeling of depression and dysphoria seconds before the let down reflex during breastfeeding. It differs from PPD because these negative feelings and thoughts only occur in the let down period of breastfeeding. D-MER is rare but very impactful when it occurs. It can be experienced as hollow feelings in the stomach, anxiety, sadness, dread, introspectiveness, nervousness, emotional upset, angst, irritability, and hopelessness. This happens due to a dysfunctional hormone shift and can cause severe distress. For more information on D-MER please visit https://d-mer.org/.

The postpartum period is a sensitive time in parents’ lives and there is no shame in needing help during this huge life shift. Please reach out to QOP to set up an appointment with a therapist to help during this time or talk to your OBGYN about available resources.

References:

A., V. den A., Olga B. (2012). Reproductive Health Psychology. John Wiley & Sons.

Post partum psychosis Postpartum Support International

https://d-mer.org/

ICOD Postpartum OCD Fact Sheet

Baby Blues March of Dimes

Breast Feeding ASN D-MER.

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