Effects of Childhood Neglect on Adults

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Effects of Childhood Emotional Neglect on Adults

December 4, 2024 | Lysa Kirby, LCPC | 3 min. read

Effects of Childhood Emotional Neglect on Adults

Childhood is a formative time when emotional experiences shape how we understand the world,  relationships, and ourselves. While much attention is given to overt forms of abuse, childhood  emotional neglect (CEN) can be equally damaging. Unlike physical or emotional abuse,  emotional neglect is often invisible and difficult to identify because it involves the absence of  necessary emotional nurturing and validation rather than the presence of harmful actions. 

Adults who experienced emotional neglect as children may struggle with unresolved emotional  issues, even if they don’t fully understand where those feelings come from. This blog will  explore the impact of childhood emotional neglect on adults, how to recognize the signs, and  steps toward healing and recovery. 

What Is Childhood Emotional Neglect (CEN)? 

Neglect during childhood refers to the omission of adequate emotional care during the child’s developmental years. These years are impressionable and lay the foundation for all emotional  growth to follow. This emotional neglect during childhood can have an adverse impact on the  adult in the following ways: 

  1. Struggle to express emotions: difficulty emotionally connecting to others and/or expressing emotions to others. 
  2. Self-Worth: struggles with confidence and often feels incapable. Despite high achievements, the individual often feels unworthy. 
  3. Fear of Intimacy: leads to avoidant attachment style, fear of and staying away from forming intimate relationships, thus isolating self. 
  4. Boundary Issues: difficulty saying no to others; often longs to please others and  ignores their own wants and needs. 
  5. Distrustful of Others: struggle to rely on others because they fear that their needs will again be overlooked.

Signs of Childhood Emotional Neglect in an Adult 

  • Emotionally numb 
  • Difficulty identifying emotions.  
  • Refrain from relying on others due to fear of disappointment. 
  • Poor self-worth 
  •  Struggle establishing boundaries and place other’s needs before your own
  • Struggle to form intimate relationships 

Healing from Childhood Emotional Neglect 

  1. Validate your Feelings: acknowledging your emotional needs is an essential component within the healing process. This step is vital because it lends itself to the belief that is often manifested, that your feelings are irrelevant.  
  2. Emotional Awareness: emotional neglect often leads to stunted emotional growth, therefore,  making a habit of identifying your feelings can help to mature in this area. Make it routine to  check-in with your emotions and journaling and seeking therapy can be a great approach for  emotional awareness. 
  3. Prioritize Self-Care: those who aim to please others and avoid their own wants and needs  would benefit from prioritizing self-care. 
  4. Seek Therapy: professional therapy can be an asset to individuals that endured emotional neglect during childhood. It can help to explore and process from your trauma.  
  5. Build Trust: begin to form relationships with others. Building emotional intimacy takes  patience, but slowly working toward this goal will ease you into fulfilling relationships.

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Tools to Address Autism Anger and Tantrums

Home » Blog » Tools to Address Autism Anger and Tantrums

Tools to Address Autism Anger and Tantrums

October 21, 2024 | Boma Ehanire, LMSW | 3 min. read

Tools to Address Autism Anger and Tantrums

Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD) is a neurological disorder and developmental disorder that affects how people interact with others, communicate, learn and behave (Dept of Health and Human Services, n.d.). Due to communication barriers that come as a result of the diagnosis, it may be difficult for children with autism to verbally express their frustrations or identify their emotions; as a result, tantrums are likely to occur. 

ASD is a spectrum, and is not to be mistaken as a diagnosis that is uniform to every individual based on higher or lower level of functioning.

Each individual is unique in their diagnosis, and their abilities are contingent upon their uniqueness. Notwithstanding; whether an ASD individual is verbal or nonverbal, communication challenges may still arise. In this article, tools will be addressed to assist a child with ASD, who may need support with anger and tantrums. Some suggestions are as follows: (Jovick, 2019)

  • Use your “pilot voice”. When communicating with a child with ASD who is on the verge of a tantrum, use a tone that is calm, clear, and unemotional. This allows the child to feel safe, and have a sense of control.  

  • Anger is a “watercolor” emotion. When a child is angry, it is typically a blend of other emotions that have“ bled together.” Parents may find it helpful to take a look at any underlying feelings the child may be experiencing such as disappointment, or sadness. 

  • Ensure your child is not tired, hungry, sick or thirsty. Children with sensory issues may be more sensitive in these areas and are likely to cause emotional disruption. 

  • Acknowledging that anger is an acceptable emotion, but setting rules when angry is important. For example, it is important to maintain “safe hands,” which means that the child should not destroy property, not hurt their self or others.

  • Sensory Overload – Ensuring your child is not having too much visual or auditory stimulation

  • When a child is having a meltdown, communicate what you would like your child to do, not what you don’t want them to do. When we tell a child what we do not want them to do, we assume they know what they should do. Model what you want to see. 

  • Routine is “safety”. Children have very little control over their world, this can be scary, creating a routine for a child with ASD helps their days become more predictable. This can reduce feelings of anxiety and fear, which may reduce tantrums. 

  • Give 20 minutes for “cool down”.  Allowing your child to cool off will allow their bodies the time they need to return back to “room temperature.” This could take slightly more or less time depending on your child and the circumstance.

References:

Novick, B. J. (2019). The angry child: What parents, schools, and society can do by Brett Novick – books on Google Play. Google. https://play.google.com/store/books/details/The_Angry_Child_What_Parents_Schools_and_Society_C?id=49KpDwAAQBAJ&amp%3Bhl=en_US&amp%3Bgl=US 

U.S. Department of Health and Human Services. (n.d.). Autism spectrum disorder. National Institute of Mental Health. https://www.nimh.nih.gov/health/topics/autism-spectrum-disorders-asd 

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Building Adolescent Emotional Resilience

Home » Blog » Building Adolescent Emotional Resilience

Building Adolescent Emotional Resilience

October 1, 2024 | Lysa Kirby, LCPC | 3 min. read

Building Adolescent Emotional Resilience

Lysa’s Limericks

The adolescent developmental stage is filled with many complex areas such as relationships,  school, and their identities. Building emotional resilience throughout this time period will prove  valuable to successfully navigate life’s transition and challenges. 

What is Emotional Resilience 

Resilience is the ability to recoup following adversity such as elevated stress or trauma.  Resilience does not mean that stress does not affect you or that you avoid struggles in life. Resilience is feeling confident that you are capable of effectively managing challenges and regulating emotions.  

Strategies to Build Emotional Resilience 

  1. Support: having a strong support network of family and friends is an essential component of emotional resilience. Being able to confide in trusted support persons to both share  information and receive guidance promotes growth for an adolescent. A support system  also provides open communication and a safe place where an adolescent can feel  emotionally secure. 
  2. Model and Promote Healthy Coping Strategies: adults and caregivers should demonstrate  healthy coping methods when encountering episodes of stress. Teach strategies that will  lend itself to decreasing troublesome symptoms such as deep-breathing techniques,  meditation and grounding exercises. 
  3. Promote Emotional Awareness: help your adolescent identify their emotions. Teach them  to label their feelings and explain that it is healthy to express their various emotions.  Discuss ways to appropriately convey these feelings such as journaling or art. 
  4. Set Realistic Goals: ensure that your adolescent is setting realistic goals that are tangible. This approach allows the adolescent to be less likely to feel overwhelmed. Encourage your adolescents to reach their goals and acknowledge their achievements and any obstacles they may have faced along the way. 
  5. Teach Problem-Solving Skills: help your adolescent view a challenge with a systematic  approach. Teach them to identify the problem, generate possible solutions, weigh the pros  and cons, and then make an educated decision. 

Conclusion 

Building emotional resilience is a fundamental tool to instill within your adolescents. It is through the guidance of the adults and caregivers that adolescents can develop emotional maturity. 

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