Grief and the Holidays

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Grief and the Holidays

November 21, 2023 | Lisa Ferraro, LCPC | 5 min. read

While the holidays may bring celebration and joy, they can also be a difficult time for others, especially those who are in the midst of grief.

Grief can be experienced with many kinds of profound loss (death of a loved one, death of a pet, loss of a job, loss of a relationship, moving, health diagnosis, etc).

Grief and the Holidays OMHG Blog

Here are some suggestions to manage the holidays when you are grieving:

  • Expectations — Acknowledge that the holidays will likely be different this year. The only expectation to hold is that the holidays may be DIFFERENT this year. There may be times of sadness, anger, loneliness, gratitude and/or joy; all are normal.
  • Choose your Holiday Activities: It is okay if you don’t want to decorate as much or plan to forgo the usual festivities. It’s also okay to celebrate as you usually do or in a totally different way this year. There are no “shoulds” or “musts.” Only do what is right for you. Decorate if you want, skip decorating, decorate totally differently or delegate decorating for someone else. Consider a new tradition if it feels right.
  • Plan Ahead and Have an Exit Strategy. Decide ahead of time what activities you will do and what you may skip. Your energy levels may be low during grief so it’s helpful to plan accordingly. Discuss your plans with those family and friends who may be involved in your holiday celebrations. Share with them that you reserve the right to change your mind at the last minute if your energy level and mood are low. It will help avoid unrealistic expectations and hurt feelings. It’s okay to change your mind at the last minute about attending dinners, parties or to leave a function early.
  • Allow Yourself Time and Space as needed. Give yourself time to reflect on memories and express your feelings. Be mindful of your need for quiet and solitude.
  • Share Your Feelings. Talk about your feelings and memories with trusted friends or family who will accept you and your feelings. Talk about all the feelings — the happiness, the sadness, the regrets, the frustrations. Consider joining a grief support group (see resources below) or seeking counseling. Grief support groups are often free.
  • Have a Good Cry. Tears help release intense feelings and are a natural expression of grief that also help lower stress (cortisol) levels.
  • Consider Journaling. Journaling can be a very helpful tool when grieving. Consider writing a letter to your loved one sharing your current feelings.
  • Ask for Help. Tell others when you need help and be as specific as possible. For example, “l need to talk to someone about my Dad today. Would you listen and be with me for an hour or so?”
  • Take Care of Your Physical Health. Try to get adequate rest, eat nutritious foods, and exercise if you are able — even a brisk walk or time in nature can be helpful. Grief often includes symptoms such as disrupted sleep, headaches, low energy, shortness of breath, nausea, and weight loss. Listen to your body and if you need extra rest or medical attention, make sure you are getting it!
  • Engage in Small Pleasures. Do not underestimate the healing effects of small pleasures as you are ready. Watching a sunset, spending time in nature, enjoying a favorite food or tradition. All are small steps toward regaining your pleasure in life.
  • Do Something Good For Others. If you are able, consider doing something for others. It doesn’t need to be a grand gesture. For example, donating a few canned goods to the local food bank. Helping others can be a way of channeling your grief.
  • Be Kind To Yourself. Grief is a non-linear process. Sometimes after a period of feeling better, we find ourselves in old feelings of extreme sadness, despair or anger. This is normal because, as humans, we cannot process all of the pain and meaning of profound loss at once. There are often many secondary losses one experiences during the first year of grieving. For example, hearing a song on the radio that brings back a specific memory and reminds you of your loss. Some days will be more difficult than others. Don’t place unreasonable expectations on yourself or fault yourself for “not getting over it sooner.” If you feel joyful in the moment, it’s okay to experience joy. If you feel sad in the moment, it’s okay to experience sadness. All feelings are valid.

For more information, please see resources below:

https://www.frederickhealthhospice.org/grief-loss/ Grief Support Groups

https://www.montgomerycountymd.gov/HHS/Resources/Files/HoTTopics/Grief%20and%20Bereavement%20Resources%2011-2020.pdf — Several Grief Support Groups in Montgomery County

https://www.jssa.org/services/hospice/grief-support-groups/ Teen Suicide Support Group, Adult Children Who Have Lost a Parent Support Group, Loss of Spouse Support Group, COVID Loss Support Group, Adult Suicide Grief Support Group

https://www.wisesayings.com/grieving-support-guide/ Several Resources Organized in Sections by Topic (e.g. Grief Support for Widows, Military Families, Suicide Survivors, etc.)

https://robertashouse.org/ Support Groups for Homicide Grief Support

www.bereavedparentsusa.org For Parents Who Have Lost a Child

https://www.loveinthetrenches.org/grief-support-group Zoom Support Groups for Parents Who Have Lost a Child to Overdose or Addiction

https://www.mdcoalition.org/support_group/our-healing-hearts-online-grief-support-group-for-parents-who-have-lost-a-child-to-overdose/ For Parents Who Have Lost a Child to Overdose

https://elunanetwork.org/camps-programs/camp-erin/ — Grief Camp for Children & Teens

https://www.griefshare.org/countries/us/states/md/cities/frederick Christian Grief Support Groups

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September — National Recovery Month

Home » Blog » September — National Recovery Month

September — National Recovery Month

October 2, 2023 | Lisa Ferraro, LCPC | 5 min. read

Hello! My name is Elisabeth (Lisa) Ferraro and I am a Licensed Clinical Professional Counselor (LCPC) with Orchard Mental Health Group.

I have been at the practice for four years but have been practicing as a clinician since 2004, with specializations in Addictions, Grief, Anxiety and Depression. I primarily work with individuals but have experience with couples and groups as well. My therapy style is person-centered, emphasizing empathy and client strengths while also teaching cognitive behavioral techniques.

Having worked with many individuals in recovery from Substance Use Disorder, supporting those in recovery as well as the families of those in recovery is a passion of mine.

In 1989, September became National Recovery Month as a way to bring attention to finding evidenced-based practices for helping individuals heal from addiction.

Addiction is something that affects millions of individuals in all stages of life and in all socioeconomic status levels. What is recovery? Recovery is more than just stopping and avoiding using substances. The process includes addressing the triggers, mental health issues and trauma that contribute to the disease of addiction as well as finding healthier coping strategies to navigate through life. In order to heal from addiction, support from others is needed.

A few ways to help someone struggling with addiction:

1. Meet them where they are.

Maybe they aren’t ready to stop drinking or using drugs. If so, consider helping them with harm reduction (e.g., attend a FREE presentation on Narcan and make sure you or they have Narcan in case of an opioid overdose. Most community agencies have free trainings that include a free dose of Narcan*. Medicaid also covers most of the cost so that someone with Medicaid can receive Narcan for a co-pay of $1 at any pharmacy. You could also familiarize yourself with warning signs of overdose/alcohol poisoning and safety steps such as recovery position. Let them know they can call 911 if they or a friend are experiencing an overdose — they will not be in legal trouble)

2. Attend a support meeting.

Did you know that free support groups exist for family members of those struggling with addiction? Groups like Al-Anon or the CRAFT approach (Community Reinforcement and Family Training) can be helpful for family members of those with addictions:

3. Encourage them to seek support.

Some examples of support that are available to individuals with addiction:

    • Attending an in-person or virtual 12-step meeting (Alcoholics Anonymous, Narcotics Anonymous, Celebrate Recovery)
    • Spending time with sober friends or family
    • Going to Outpatient or Intensive Outpatient Programs for Substance Use Disorder, attending therapy, and encouraging them to seek positive social support.

4. Set boundaries.

Someone in active addiction often engages in behaviors that can be stressful for family members (e.g., theft, deceit, verbal or physical abuse). Try to remember that people in active addiction are not acting out of their usual moral compass. They are compromised by their active addiction. That said, you do not need to subject yourself to abuse and can set limits regarding contact, living arrangements and financial support.

Recovery is possible — especially with the help of loved ones!

For more information, please see resources below:

*FREE NARCAN TRAINING IN FREDERICK & MONTGOMERY COUNTY

https://health.frederickcountymd.gov/546/Overdose-Response-Training-Naloxone-Dist

https://www.montgomerycountymd.gov/opioids/

 

ADDITIONAL RESOURCES FOR RECOVERY

Alcoholics Anonymous Meeting Locator

Narcotics Anonymous Meeting Locator

Celebrate Recovery

SMART Recovery

Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration

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